Twilight (2008)

The Christmas horror subgenre is a growing section of horror that tends to play on the swept-away side of Christmas. It examines whose naughty, and how badly they deserve to be punished, often with comedy thrown in for extra good measure. If you are a fan of horror, especially horror comedies, this is the list for you! They are in no particular order.

*Warning movies may feature or discuss sexual assault. Those with sensitivities around this issue should proceed with caution for entry #2.

Described as Die Hard mixed with Home Alone, Violent Night is titled appropriately to set up audience expectations. A disgruntled Santa Claus decides that he has had with the predatory capitalism and consumerism that has besmirched his nominally jolly holiday. He decides to go on one last hedonistic sleigh ride, debating if this will be the last Christmas for humanity. Ending up at the mansion of the wealthy Lightstone family, he is suddenly thrust into an action thriller John Wick style, when armed mercenaries pick this night to break into the mansion and steal the purported hundreds of millions in the family vault. The youngest Lightstone, Trudy, pleads for Santa's help with a child's innocence, and Santa Claus reluctantly goes up against the bad guys. It is silly, action-packed, and has a comic twist on the idea of naughty or nice!

After a singular spectacularly campy season, First Kill has been unceremoniously canceled by Netflix... and I think we all know why. First Kill is yet another in a long line of queer shows canceled by streaming services and networks. The two protagonists, Calliope (Imani Lewis) and Juliette (Sarah Catherine Hook) are Romeo and Juliet-esque star-crossed lovers. Cal comes from a long line of vampire hunters, and Juliette comes from a family of Legacy vampires. 

It’s clear from the start that First Kill’s budget was a dollar and a dream. It has poor CGI, some corny narration, and an awful soundtrack that often distracts from the action. The marketing for the show was minimal if anything. Yet, First Kill managed to overcome these obstacles and come out the other side with a devoted following, and deservedly so. 

First Kill is campy from the very start. The opening credit sequence features a weird song referencing Twilight. Its promise is true: this is definitely a better love story than Twilight. Hook and Lewis have fantastic chemistry. What’s even better is that this show flips the script on the mysterious, cold, elusive vampiric romance protagonist popularized by Twilight. Instead, Juliette is an adorably awkward teen vampire struggling with to hide her massive crush on Cal—the elusive, mysterious vampire hunter. The dynamic between the two girls is a constant push and pull that makes for engaging romantic drama.

The queer representation in First Kill is amazing. The show was created and written by gay author V.E. Schwab who wanted to portray gay characters not as supporting players, but as leads. The two main characters are both lesbians, and their sexualities are accepted by both of their families. The girls face no homophobia, which makes the show all the more liberating to watch. Juliette and Cal are also both fully fledged characters outside of their romantic relationship. Although it’s important to represent lesbian characters onscreen, representing three-dimensional lesbian characters who exist beyond their sexuality is even more critical. First Kill does this. The story is not about their queerness—it’s about their love for each other and their complex bonds with their family and friends.

Loosely based on the real life and heartbreaking story of Elisa Girotto, who left seventeen presents for her unborn child before she died from cancer, 18 Presents is an Italian drama that centers on that premise with an additional twist.

Anna (Benedetta Porcaroli) grows up without knowing her mother, but on each birthday, she receives a gift from her. However, Anna becomes resentful of the gifts, and her birthday as it was the day her mom died. In retaliation, Anna runs away. On the run, Anna gets hit by a car and somehow, she’s sent back to the past where she meets her mother months before she died. During which, the two connect and spend time together that they had lost.

While the movie attempts to pull at the audience’s heartstrings, it instead pulls on nerves as our main character, Anna, acts irresponsibly. To me, she’s not much of a likable character. I get why she feels resentment towards her mother, but she comes off as arrogant at times. She does grow up in the end, but it was still hard to connect with her. It also doesn’t help that she looks like Bella from Twilight, and I couldn’t stop thinking of it. Maybe that’s another subtle reason why I didn’t like her.

The film also suffers from pacing issues. Some scenes end too quickly before we can properly digest them. Take for instance when the mother, Elisa (Vittoria Puccini), learns that she has cancer. We don’t have to fully take in that revelation as, minutes later, we’re treated to a montage of Anna growing up, and the movie then focuses on her instead.

Let’s just put it out there, we can be honest with each other. We’ve all found ourselves choosing films to watch less because the script is strong, and more because we were told it's “aesthetic”. They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but the task becomes strenuous when it's just so gosh darn pretty, and film is no exception. It’s not a one for one though; in the case of cinema, the text exists not to paint a picture for the audience, but for the crew. Therein, it’s natural to yearn for a certain visual pleasure when sitting down for a show.

That’s one element I’ve always loved of Shakespearian adaptations. At some point the film world agreed that any adaptations of The Bard must strive for a certain pedigree of beauty, which I’ll never object to because it feels so innate to the subject matter. Shakespeare's work itself has always leaned into the romantic to the point that I don’t think anyone wouldn’t conjure angelic images while reading. And so, here’s a collection of the films I think captured William’s pathos the best. Both for the diversity they bring, and of course “the aesthetic."

A strong start, not only because of the source material, but also the strength of the filmmakers. This adaptation does a perfect job of blending the essence of the original work with the film making trends of the late 90s. I think what makes it work most is the comedic but never flippant tone it takes with itself. It leans into the bizarre happenings of the story and frames them as bizarre. And this is further pushed by the whimsical tone of the visuals. It’s dreamy and flirty in the most enjoyable way.