Mother's Elling (2003)

I'm a Gemini, and we are often the funniest people in the room, at least in our minds. Nonetheless, armed with bravado, I decided to take my talents to a standup comedy class. Because indeed, that's all it takes to start a comedy career; and become a Deborah Vance (Jean Smart) in training… amirite? Nope. Nah. No ma'am.

It took six weeks of classes, 25 plus times walking on a stage to perfect removing the mic from the stand (it's a whole thing), and hours of journaling (followed by some therapy). Then days of writing setups and punchlines, whittling them down to a bone (every word counts and is counted), followed by several rehearsals and one excruciating practice where I forgot all my lines. All for one 4-minute set.

Finally, the day arrives; my 4-minutes of fame debuts at The Punchline in Atlanta in front of 250 of my closest strangers (comedy clubs are small, these people could literally touch the stage). I also regretfully invited four really close friends realizing this may actually eclipse the most embarrassing moment in my life (yes, I keep a list). All you need to know is that it happened at a wedding when I was in college and my mother witnessed it and would hurt herself laughing each time she thought about it…even decades later.But, I digress.

Once on stage, everything my teacher, the all-knowing Jeff Justice, taught us that didn't make sense in class absolutely did. I didn't think twice about the microphone...it really is a thing; even when I forgot a line, Jeff's voice was in my head (well, he was actually near the stage and whispered it to me). Still, I didn't throw up (I wanted to right before walking on stage) and, surprisingly, killed...meaning, I almost died from fear. But I survived!