Marvel's Eternals: Why It Was a Good Idea... But The Execution Was Not.
Eternals is an interesting concept and unique visuals, but slow pacing and rushed character development suggests it should have been a mini-series.

Spinning bike, corpse, plastic dick, lots of lies, blood, money cleaning up the mess, a perfect world slowly falling apart and greed watching from its seat in the front row.
Eternals is an interesting concept and unique visuals, but slow pacing and rushed character development suggests it should have been a mini-series.
After the untimely death of his brother by way of an ambush in Kandahar, Afghanistan, the protagonist, ‘81’(Alan Ritchson) unsuccessfully makes several attempts to become an Army Ranger. On his last mission to complete the Ranger selection process he and his squad encounter an otherworldly ‘soldier’.
It is as bad as your remember, and you are fortunate if you've never watched it. Keep it that way!