Let’s Hope Disney’s “Hercules” Remake isn’t Another “Aladdin”
Here's what Disney got wrong with "Aladdin" and how it can avoid those pitfalls with "Hercules."

Yeeeuh, we got two brothas turnin' out innocent white byatches. Yeeuh, they nut deep in their pussies. Yeeeuh, we got all dat shit on dis here DVD. So fuckin' what!!! We got a muthafuckin' midget in da house name of Lil Pimp. Fuck dat "Lollipop Gang" shiznat, he be representin' the "Li'l People with Dicks Bigger than most Crackas" gang. The only thing little on Lil Pimp is his height so step back byatch. Lil Pimp's up, white ho's down. Holla back, boyee!
Here's what Disney got wrong with "Aladdin" and how it can avoid those pitfalls with "Hercules."
Him is visually stunning—all concrete cathedrals and bone-rattling impact shots that look like a nightmare highlight reel. Marlon Wayans is magnetic as this legendary quarterback who's basically selling salvation with a smile that never quite reaches his eyes. But the story keeps running in circles: more tests, more cryptic pep talks, more ritualistic drills. The sports-as-religion metaphor beats you over the head when subtlety would've been more effective. The middle drags, and that finale chooses spectacle over substance. It's undeniably stylish, but left me cold. Also worth noting: despite the Monkeypaw connection, this isn't actually a Jordan Peele film—he didn't write or direct.
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