Gretel & Hansel Gets Lost in Its Beautiful Woods
Gretel & Hansel falters due to its razor thin story and lack of characterization. It loses sight of horror’s key rule: In order to create an effective tale, characters and emotions must be emphasized.

Countless places across the United States still bear the name of Alexander von Humboldt — queer traveler, visionary naturalist, now largely forgotten. The longing filmmaker uses three of them as unlikely common ground, weaving Humboldt's own words through present-day lives: urban activists greening neglected neighborhoods, scientists scanning redwood forests, hunters returning bighorn sheep to protected land. Across generations and landscapes, HUMBOLDT USA asks what remains of a vision of "interconnectedness."
Gretel & Hansel falters due to its razor thin story and lack of characterization. It loses sight of horror’s key rule: In order to create an effective tale, characters and emotions must be emphasized.
Yeah, sure, the movie’s about Carnage. But it’s really about love. A love that defies all odds: the love between a man and his man-eating alien symbiote.
A refreshing twist is that all the kids’ powers are…kind of useless. There’s a kid who can only move in slow motion, a kid who has every power in the world but can only use them randomly, and our main character Missy who has no powers at all. The thesis of the film seems to be that it doesn’t matter what kind of powers you have, its the way you use them, which is good for the warm and fuzzies.
The height of subversive horror cinema is Jennifer’s Body. No, I will never budge on that. Yes, Cabin in The Woods is funny, Scream is very well made, and the Scary Movie franchise is …. there. But nothing is quite as satisfying as watching the teenage succubus that is Jennifer Check rip apart boys. In the post #metoo era where the industry is far from changed, watching revenge flicks like these is probably one of the most cathartic experiences due to the slow-moving progress being made.
We all have our kinks and fetishes and what turns us on the most. Dog Lover details a serious (and at times unhealthy) look at a fetish that might go a little too far.
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