Holy Shit 

I Love You Forever, marketed as a “subversive” romantic comedy is in fact a painful horror film about a young woman deep in the throes of an abusive relationship.

Escape The Field is a serviceable horror thriller. The characters are easier to remember as horror character tropes. As I wrote this review, I only remembered the characters by their tropes: #FinalGirl, #Everyman, #Badass, #MeanB*/SexyGirl, #Realist/BlackLesbian, and #TheNerd.

These confines won’t really encourage you to read the film as a metaphor for the nerve-inducing experience we’ve all been through over the last year, however — and in the interest of maintaining your dignity, you probably shouldn’t. While the sociopolitical commentary may have worked for the similarly-themed Buried (2010), in which we find Ryan Reynolds on his own buried alive in the Middle East, but this futuristic take on the premise is best left as a piece of distracting entertainment. Nevertheless, the atmosphere is no less suffocating, literally and dramatically.

The newest in a long line of Cinderella adaptations, Amazon’s Cinderella (2021) prizes girlbossification above the very story it tries to adapt.

We can criticize depictions from old media, but they weren’t simply “good for their time”. They were fighting and struggling in a world we can’t imagine.

The definition of the word foul is “offensive to the senses,” which is a pretty good summation of the new Disney+ film, Artemis Fowl