A messy millennial in an on-and-off relationship with liminal job prospects has been a saturated archetype since Lena Dunham stretched it to its limit for 5 years in her series Girls. It has been haphazardly recreated in many character study-esque television series and tries to worm its way in as b-plots in coming-of-age films. Occasionally it demonstrates the nuanced fragmentation of love in a confusing world of blurred relationship boundaries and dying hopes in the gig economy. More often it gets reduced to shallow deep-fakes of toxic relationships with graphics of text bubbles and blaming the woman at the center of the narrative for her poor choice in a partner. However, the female-fronted film Shiva Baby takes a fresh perspective on the trope that mirrors experience and compels emotion in this dizzying dark comedy.
The film follows down-on-her-luck college graduate Danielle’s (Rachel Sennott) day at a shiva featuring her obliviously overbearing parents, bubbies with invasive advice, and her manic ex-girlfriend. Oh, also her sugar daddy — plus his wife and baby she wasn’t informed about. (For the goyim who don’t know, a “shiva” is a 7-day mourning period after a funeral. Basically a week-long after-party for the living without any of the fun but plenty of the snacks.) While that sounds like a somber setting to explain the evolutions of romantic, sexual, and familial relationships, a confined space for the grieving is actually perfect in expressing the restrictive ideas of elders and the frightening idea of being static in one’s life. The deliberate editing and camerawork juxtapose this in an anxiety-provoking way, with abrupt cuts and head-nodding shakes, that often places you in the scene and leaves your brain viscerally rattled by experiencing her anxiety second-hand.
The primary story between Dani and Max (the December to her May) is so craftily done without on-the-nose dramatics and avoids falling into repetitive arches, especially those about infidelity or sex work. She is not the “homewrecker” who brings the destructive revelations to light or seems to be engaging in sex work in a desperate attempt to survive. She doesn’t even have the ever-prescribed daddy issues for a sex worker character, but rather has a toxic relationship with her mother if anything. Even the “other woman”, Kim (played by Dianna Agron), doesn’t get outwardly jealous or vicious when her suspicions become too obvious to ignore. Instead, Agron gives a tremendous performance in her small role with a piercing togetherness that refuses to be broken (or acknowledged) despite the cheating man stuck at her side.
Even Max is not shown to be sleazy but is presented as a “nice Jewish boy”, as Dani’s parents describe him. On the surface, Max has a successful job, a wealthy family, a beautiful wife, and a darling baby. However, his sexual exploits reveal a lasting theme in the film that appearances, no matter how immaculate, are filled with cracks if looked at closely enough. We first meet Dani and Max after one of their sexual encounters. Surprisingly, he is quite affectionate towards Dani and talks about how he wants to financially support a young woman going to law school. He has convinced himself that what he is doing is a good deed rather than an exploitative deed that belies his perfect paternal image. The film doesn’t hold back in calling out his performative “support” since he doesn’t actually care about the power imbalance that is the foundation for the whole relationship. The subtle acting and dialogue (that expertly relies on overhearing conversations and subtextual pleasantries) show the lack of accountability and acknowledgment that is being taken — and most likely never will be. Image is everything, and Dani’s commitment to keeping up everyone else’s plus her own is faltering.
Danielle is presented as somewhere between a child and woman, displaced and disparaged at the thought of her two worlds colliding with a humanizing portrayal of her experience. She is ill-prepared to be thrown into the world of 9–5 with her “business of gender” major, feeling directionless and attempting to maintain a lifestyle through the increasingly popular industry of sex work. She is trying to carry this enormous secret on her back while balancing the dual disappointment and coddling by her parents at her every turn. On top of this, her much more successful ex, Maya, is there, which causes constant academic comparisons that haunt each conversation as well as her previous “failures,” like her weight loss, to be rehashed. Essentially, she is only in her early 20s and feels the pressures of trying to have it all in a world aimed against those who will inherit it.
